Sunday, April 27, 2008

041908 Flight DL 855 Thoughts

i miss you
with a fearsome,
terrible,
blinding
ache
i cannot bear.

but, to bear somehow,
i must
stay away,
even act as if
i'm spurning you instead--
for now anyway.

until the ache
subsides
and i can
draw near you
again:

until
self-possessed
i can stand near you
again
without buckling
under the weight
of my own tremulous fears
and need.

i dream of the day
when i can love you
so fully and purely
without fear
nor doubt--

but until then
i can only struggle
to love you
as fully and purely
as i can muster
despite my fears
and self-doubt.


Saturday, April 12, 2008

To Love

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and luxuries, avoid all entanglements and keep it safe in the casket of your selfishness. But in the casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

- C.S Lewis The Four Loves

Monday, April 07, 2008