Thursday, March 01, 2007

Becoming My Desires

the desires we express have in themselves the seeds of change, and in our desiring, we are and must be becoming what we desire, too, because if we do not, then we don't experience what we desire.

i desired for a Soulmate kind of Love; now i've met a special person who i'm starting to have that kind of relationship with, but i'm finding out that it required changes IN ME, too, to live up to that kind of Love.

i desired for my children to grow authentic, independent-minded and compassionate, and now my just-turned-fourteen eldest is being more of her new, growing self, questioning almost all my parental practices. i can view that as conflict and war with a teen-ager; or i can view that as change, changing roles, and desires coming true thus necessitating my own change.

so what we Desire is not something we Get; it's something we Become, then something we Are.

and so, our Desires are Good; they are the catalysts for our Becoming.

i hope i make sense. : )

this is written at a little past midnight of Feb. 28 (so it's actually March 1 now), when i turn 39, but my real birthday (Feb. 29) is still a year away!

not my usual, well thought out and well written blog post. that's how one gets when the whole world misses one's real birthday, but one is still there, turning a year older...

twilight-zonish, to say the least.