this is getting to be quite fun, to be in this secret place -- where i don't know anybody who visits (well, no one has visited yet even!) and nobody knows me.
it helps me deal with the real world out there, with people grasping, clawing, voraciously demanding for my time and attention and energies, it seems. i walk around and know that at least, some part of my life is mine and mine alone, nobody can touch it.
i am hurting so bad right now too. i feel like an open, gaping wound walking around, drip-dripping blood all over the place but unable to even speak nor cry about my pain, because nobody will truly understand nor be there with me down there in the depths anyway.
this secret place helps. i can start writing about it, at least, without worrying that somebody else might misunderstand, or take offense, or become more confused about who i am and where i'm at with them...
i am safe here.